Broken Crayons



Sometimes I feel like I am completely incapable of contributing to the world around me. I think of myself as broken and needy. After all, how can someone who needs so much help in life be helpful or useful to others?

A long time ago a friend gave me a copy of the book "The Blessings of Brokenness: Why God Allows Us to go Through Hard Times"  by Charles Stanley. (The book is written from the Christian faith perspective but I think the general message of faith and taking the long view of the situation can apply to anyone.) This book really helped me see how the trials I go through are teaching me how to help other navigate their trials.

Had I not struggled with being mental, I would not know the things I do about navigating mental health, social services, and other agencies.  I would not have the skills I do in self-care, mindfulness and Dialectic Behavior Therapy.  I might be much more judgmental and less kind to those who experience mental illness and the issues that often go along with it.  Because I do have this struggle in my life, I have quite bit of information on community resources and I have found several things I am passionate about.

This being said, some days are really hard to manage.  I feel like there is no point because I will always be ill and that I am wasting everyone's time trying to contribute through being employed.  It's at those times that I must remember that even broken crayons still color.

They may be battered and nothing like their original shape, but they can still add color to the picture. Just like those crayons, I, with my broken brain and many issues, am able to add my color to the world.  My humor, my quirks in personality, the issues I face medically and mentally all color who I am and in return, I color my world based on my experiences.

I may be cracked and broken. I may be nothing like I was but I can still make a difference.  I add my own shade to the world and by doing so, I allow others to share their colors in a world that can be very gray.

If you are struggling to find how best to use your broken crayon, think about the people and things in your life that helped you.  Start by sharing that.  Soon you will find your colors brightly shining and blending with the lives of others. In this way, we share the blessings of our brokenness with the world and are able to make a difference.

Life is a mosaic, don't be afraid to add your color to it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Eat an Elephant

Image
"How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time."  The above quote is a paraphrase of an African proverb.  Most of us, through conversation, or entertainment mediums, have encountered the phrase "Let's address the elephant in the room." in some form or variation. Elephants are the largest living land animals on the Earth.  The largest, African Bush Elephant, are 11 feet tall and weight 13,000 pounds.  They are massive.  My mind goes first to the physical space this enormous animal would fill.  Then to the unpleasant smell of an animals that large being in the same room as myself.  How could anyone ignore that?  But that is exactly what people do with the metaphorical elephant, their problems.  The image of an elephant in the room is used to speak of some issue or problem that is effecting a person or a group of people, but not being talked about.  As humans we are often too overwhelmed or busy to take time to really ...
Read more

Forgiveness: A Monu-Mental Task.

"The greatest gift you can give yourself is forgiveness." ~Unknown~     Sometimes it's easy to forget that, though we are responsible for our actions, being mental is not our fault.  It is not a life choice or a career path we planned to take.  I tend to be a very forgiving person when it comes to the offenses of others.  (That is part of the reason the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder was given to me.)  The person I have the most difficulty forgiving is the most important person for me to forgive. Me.     Why on Earth would I need to forgive myself?  Well, for starters, the way aspects of my mental health and personality present can be a little off putting.  I take up a lot of emotional space sometimes.  I can lack thoughtfulness and I offend or hurt people unintentionally.  There is a certain social awkwardness that is more than just awkward.  If I can forgive these things in others that I know have ...
Read more

If it makes you happy.

Image
"One of the simplest ways to Be Happy is letting go of the things that make you sad."     It's been a while since I last posted here.  Since my last posting, I have had a lot of changes in my personal life.  I stopped DBT group (for now), am driving less, becoming more active and social, I became engaged to my longtime friend, started seeing a new therapist and reduced the frequency of sessions.  The biggest change has been my happiness.       One of the things I have struggled with is holding on to the happy and letting go of the negative.  I have fought to do both over the years.  Sometimes I thought I was not capable of lasting happiness or that I would always live in the depths of depression.  Friends and family have often said, "You have so much going for you, why can't you just be happy?" This was never meant as a put-down but as an honest question to help them understand.  I couldn't a...
Read more