Mental

"You must choose to take tiny, positive, strategic steps forward everyday." ~Allyson Lewis~ Right now is the hardest time for me.  The holidays can and do bring a lot of pain as well as fond memories.  Along with the happy thoughts of baking pies with my mom and smelling the delicious aromas from the kitchen, the sights of lights going up and memories of hanging cherubs on the tree with my little brother come the realization that I no longer have either in my life.  This is the worst part of my version of chronic depression.  It taints the happy with the sad.    This year has been a little different.  Instead of the happy being diminished by the sad and the depression going deeper and deeper, the depression and sadness is being lessened by new positive interactions and making steps forward.  It's little things, like enlisting the help of my roommate and long time friend by asking, "What chore is vital to be done today to make things...

Most  of us cringe at the word.  We do everything we possibly can to avoid failure.  It has been ingrained in our cores that losses and incomplete attempts are fails.  It effects us negatively and we feel somehow less than others whom we deem to have succeeded.  In September, I began working at a local non-profit.  Last week, I was fired.  I felt my spirit sink as I sat with  my supervisor.  She expected me to say something, but what could I say?  The decision had been made and I knew the job was not where I really wanted to be.  Still, I felt this deep sense of loss and familiar feeling of failure creep into me. As I drove home, I thought about my time there.  I had helped change some things.  I had met some really great people.   I had confronted some of my demons and I had gotten some of my debts under control.  Instead of crawling into bed and laying there for a week or more like I did las...