Mental

"Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between the effort and the surrender."  ~Danielle Orner~     People talk about balance often.  Most of the time we are either describing a physical sensation or a moral/philosophical situation in which we need to balance our responsibilities or weigh our choices.  I am going to write about balancing my mental health and a relationship.     Recently, I accepted I am in an unequal relationship. (I'm not going to go into detail about the type of relationship.)  I put out a lot of effort into communicating with the person, keeping them updated on my life (the happy and the not happy), and wishing them love and good days.  The person, for their own reasons, often does not respond, even when it is a serious event.  The relationship was not always this way.  We used to lean on each other equally.  But life changed, for both of us....

  Most of us are familiar with Murphy's Law.  It states, "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."  I'd like to take a moment the talk about the opposite, Yhprum's Law.  This is the polar opposite. It states,  "Everything that can work, will work."  The following is my personal example of Yhprum's law in my life.     Sometimes God (Life/the Universe for the remainder of this writing I will use God as my choice of word for these things.) gives us a pass.  Most of the time we get a pass on little things that we aren't even aware of but sometimes it is a bigger thing that is causing us stress.  After all, was said and done, we find that we didn't actually need to carry all that stress.  But it's not the same as a free pass.  God rewards the effort you put in, in an unexpected way but relieving way.     This past week, we had our annual housing inspection. We had neglected our cleaning duties for a while....

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."     There have been a lot of changes in my life recently and in the lives of my family.  The biggest one was a long term medical issue that my dad had surgery for and I was there to help with the recovery and respite for my stepmother. She went back home overseas to be with her mother who then passed.  I paid off my car.  My nephew got married and he and his partner are expecting a baby.  And on top of this all, I have had a flood of carving orders, even one for a special auction.     Along with all these personal life changes,  I made the decision to stop attending DBT group.  It's not because I am depressed or that it isn't working for me.  It's a two-fold thing, I found myself in the role of almost co-facilitating the group and I wanted my roommate to be able to attend the group.  This means, to me, that I have grown past the cope of the group and am ready to work on other ar...

"It's a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes,  Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same.  You realize what's changed is you."  F. Scott Fitzgerald         It's been since September that I've written.  Quite a bit has happened in my personal life and with mental health treatment.  My father was hospitalized after surgery and I've been ill for months now. I m working with Vocational Rehabilitation Services to find part-time work. On top of this, I have had yet another change of therapist.  (This is number 5 in less than a year.)  These changes are not by choice, the therapists keep leaving unexpectedly.     Along with these trials and changes has come the return of a deep debilitating depression.  So deep that I cannot even leave my bed.  Fortunately, there is a plan in place to investigate these worsening symptoms and combat them more effectively.  Unfortunately, I...