If it makes you happy.

"One of the simplest ways to Be Happy is letting go of the things that make you sad."

    It's been a while since I last posted here.  Since my last posting, I have had a lot of changes in my personal life.  I stopped DBT group (for now), am driving less, becoming more active and social, I became engaged to my longtime friend, started seeing a new therapist and reduced the frequency of sessions.  The biggest change has been my happiness.  

    One of the things I have struggled with is holding on to the happy and letting go of the negative.  I have fought to do both over the years.  Sometimes I thought I was not capable of lasting happiness or that I would always live in the depths of depression.  Friends and family have often said, "You have so much going for you, why can't you just be happy?" This was never meant as a put-down but as an honest question to help them understand.  I couldn't answer the why.

    I started to change my perspective and put into practice the skills I've learned. First, I gave myself a space in my house that always stays organized, no matter how messy the rest of the apartment gets.  I call it my "zen corner".  I have a foam pad with a cover, a small bin with my CD player, CDs, zen chime, drum, incense and incense burner, notebook, happy light, and the mini Buddha board my niece got me. (the Buddha board is a small, portable easel type contraption that uses water to "paint" on the surface.   As it dries, what you've painted disappears and allows you to let it go of it.)  

    Another thing I've done to remind me of happiness, beauty, and the special nature of life is to create a journal just for that.  In my journal I write the date, draw pictures or write a single word that reminds me of the nonfood related, non-money related happy things that I had that day.  I have attempted not to duplicate happies, so that it doesn't become a habit and I really think and cherish even the tiniest happy/beautiful moment. 

    It seems simple, I'm sure. This is something I've struggled with most of my life.  Major Depression and hypersensitivity have often clouded the joys in my life.   I am also very much an extrovert. I gather or absorb my energy from situations and people around me.  So far it is working and even on days that could have been tainted by the nastiness of living life, I always write something before bed to remind myself that life is good and can be beautiful.

    It has been a long road to both be able to let negativities go and to accept and hold on to happiness.  There are up and down times, there are major struggles.  But now I can see the beauty and happy things without effort most days.  I can lift myself up and encourage myself the way I do for others.  

    Because of the mental health and physical issues I have, I will always have to remind myself of the good things.  But now, I have one more tool to fight those down times.  My resilience is increasing.  I have chosen to move forward without being paralyzed by fear or drown by depression.

    Whatever it is that makes you happy in a long-term way, playing with children, helping others, gardening, learning, do it!  Stack up the positives in your life to battle those down and negative times.  Record your funny thoughts, your beautiful memories, your happy times.  If it makes you happy, it is worth the effort!