How to Eat an Elephant

"How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time." 

The above quote is a paraphrase of an African proverb.  Most of us, through conversation, or entertainment mediums, have encountered the phrase "Let's address the elephant in the room." in some form or variation.

Elephants are the largest living land animals on the Earth.  The largest, African Bush Elephant, are 11 feet tall and weight 13,000 pounds.  They are massive.  My mind goes first to the physical space this enormous animal would fill.  Then to the unpleasant smell of an animals that large being in the same room as myself.  How could anyone ignore that?  But that is exactly what people do with the metaphorical elephant, their problems. 

The image of an elephant in the room is used to speak of some issue or problem that is effecting a person or a group of people, but not being talked about.  As humans we are often too overwhelmed or busy to take time to really address the situations, emotions, and stresses that are right in front of us.  These things effect our mood, our physical energy, our physical health, can make mental illness much worse.

Not long ago, panic inducing generalized anxiety disorder was my elephant.  It caused me terrible sleep patterns, physical illness, fatigue, and a mountain of stress. Simple things, like brushing my hair, eating regular meals, and even attending appointments felt impossible.  I often canceled appointments the last minute because I would be awake tossing and turning or my gut would act up and keep me awake and ill all day.  I felt like I was stuck and the obstacle was immovable.  It got so bad that I, an extremely extroverted person, was unable to force myself to do anything but the bare minimum and preferably not alone.

During this time, my dear friend from overseas introduced me to the phrase "How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time."  We talked about how I felt like I would choke on even a spoonful of my "elephant".    She said, "Then have a baby spoonful."  To remind me that addressing my "elephant" only takes a tiny nibble and to give me something tactile to hold on to, she sent me a tiny spoon on a chain with crystals.  The more I told others about my spoon and used the analogy of eating an elephant to conquer issues, the smaller the issues became.  It took a long time.  I wore that necklace almost constantly. I held that little spoon in my fingers and said to myself, "Baby bites".  

Now the anxiety elephant is mostly gone.  It's been a long process to get this far.  It took many baby bites and a lot of support from my tribe.  It also took me taking a step back from trying to shove the entire elephant down my throat.  That was the hardest part.  Being patient with myself.  But I learned to accept that even a tiny bite makes a difference.

My current elephant is dealing with the effects of a mild TBI (post concussion syndrome).  I have trouble with fatigue, balance, sleep, reading, mood, and memory.  It is frustrating for me. I am used to having a good memory and being able to grasp concepts and conversations quickly.  Every thing is hard right now.  Falling asleep, remembering meds, waking up, dealing with angry outbursts. But I have my spoon and I am slowly nibbling at my new elephant.  My tribe and care team are at my side and my tiny spoon is at the ready, should I get frustrated with the pace.

If you have something you are avoiding or feel overwhelmed trying to tackle on your own, remember tiny steps, tiny bites and a little more than before.  It takes just one small change, one step more, one more conversation with a professional and you can begin eating that elephant and getting it out of your life.  Call on your tribe.  Know that they are here for you and will help you decide where you need to start on your elephant.  You can do it!