Carving Life

"Of all the things I've carved and whittled away at to create something special, meaningful, and unique, life hqas been the most precious.  The tools I've used are varied.  Education, imagination, doctors, faith, and inspiration.  The hues and stains; what seals, changes, and protects, are my family, friends, and community.  And from the rough form of my circumstances, my biology, my talents, this beautiful life was 
formed."

I am a woodworker.  I carve small items and artistic pieces from wood, stone, and bone.  I started carving and creating with my dad when I was young.  By age 6 or 7, I had my own pocket knife and was able to debark sticks and create points which I did frequently.  My dad taught me to use power tools and hand tools to plane, saw, shape, sand, and seal projects of various kinds.  As I got older I made gifts for friends and family and began etching into stones.  As an adult, this hobby and love for carving has helped me to deal with my history of cutting and find a healthy coping mechanism.  Recently, I have accepted that I am an artist.  I create from, carve, and shape dead-fall, blow down, yard debris, and reclaimed wood, stone, and bone.

Recently, while meeting with yet another new therapist, we talked about my mental health journey and how I enjoy helping others with resources and by sharing my experiences.  My therapist suggested mentoring others with mental health struggles.

As you know, if you have been following my blog posts, I enjoy sharing my journey with others.  I do my best to admit my struggles and share the growth and set-backs in a manner that creates hope or at least the feeling that others are not alone in their struggles.

I realized today, as I wrote the quoted facebook entry above, that my carving has been more than a diversion or distraction.  It has not only been a tool and a passion but it is also part of who I am, part of the person I have developed into.  

Just like in carving, I can be hypercritical of the flaws I see in myself.  That type of perfectionism has often stopped me from doing things I really wanted to.  I have learned, and internalized, through carving, that flaws are what give a thing it's worth.  That by trying to erase flaws from a carving, a drawing, a stone, I have often destroyed something that was really beautiful.  This is true in my life as well.

There are still days that I struggle and all I see are the flaws.  It is at those times that I remember what burled wood is.  

Burl is a tumor on a tree.  It causes a, sometimes massive, knobby growth on the trunk or branches of a tree.  Most people would think this burl was unappealing.  But woodworkers know that burl is absolutely stunning inside.  Once the bark is removed, the burl is turned or carved and the final sanding and sealing is done, where tumor once sat, a beautiful curled and swirled pattern shows in the piece.  

This is how life works as well. Life can be ugly and our flaws can seem jarring and unappealing. But if we take the time to seek the substance below, we can find a stunning life under the burl of life.

Over the decades and years, I chipped away at the things in my life that I no longer need to hold on to.  I have learned new methods that showcase my perceived flaws in a light of function and beauty.  I have been able to grow and change and shape my life into something I am very happy with.  I hope you will also learn to carve a think of beauty from the flaws in life.